I opened up my email today to find the following important message about a workshop that I apparently must attend if I don’t want to be left behind in the fossilized digital dust:
Escape the Stone Age! Don’t be a Dinosaur! Quickly Learn ChatGPT Tools!
I’m pretty sure the marketing geniuses who crafted this gripping subject line acquired all their knowledge of natural history from the Flintstones. The real irony, however, is that the FOMO bandwagon marketing strategy being used here is among the most ancient advertising ploys in existence—archaic even, practically Paleozoic.
But nerd-out with me for just a second, and take the “dinosaur” reference at face value. Dinosaurs existed for more than 180 million years. And they managed that unprecedented feat, it should be noted, without a single nested algorithm.
Modern humans have only been around for between 300k and 160K, depending on how you define what a modern human is. That’s not even in the same ballpark as dinosaurs, but still a couple orders of magnitude longer than the existence of civilized humans like the ones who sent me this important message about the workshop.
Despite their miniscule 9k existence, civilized humans have managed to make a lasting mark, however. For example, they have successfully orchestrated an impressive mass extinction event that is on course to completely eclipse the one that ended the dinosaurs. It is (perhaps not) unfortunate that this extinction event will be taking civilized humans along with it—sparkly dehumanizing AI tools or no.
The point is that, from a logical/factual standpoint, neither dinosaurs nor Stone Age humans are a good choice here. But don’t ask me to rewrite the ad copy for them. I’m pretty sure that my suggested edits would not be very welcome.
