Homo corporatum

Although the human population is rapidly approaching 8 billion, Homo sapiens is rapidly becoming extinct. Very few are left. They have been replaced by a competitor species, an invasive non-indigenous species that consumes Homo sapiens’ habitat—and preemptively kills all potential competition. This new species has yet to be given an official name. I suggest “Homo corporatum,” corporate man.

Imagine what it must have been like—and what it must still be like for the remaining few authentic humans—to wake up embedded within an intimate community of fellow beings, to greet the day and take in the sunrise as communion, to walk on legs that know the shape of the local terrain as muscle memory, to feast on the scent of pine or prairie or sunbaked sand, and bathe in the caress of birdcall and perpetual insect chatter, to slake your thirst with sweet spring water.

How different that was (and is) when compared to the life of Homo coporatum, who gets slapped out of fitful sleep by a shrill electronic screech and pushed into the day by weighty commitment underwritten my fear and anxiety, who’s first sights are images of death and distraction flitting across a glossy palm-held screen, who’s first thoughts are of the crushing emptiness that will fill her day, the treadmill that she must mount for a tedious day-long walk to nowhere at all, the whip of debt that stings her back. There is comradery in the trenches, but comradery is not community. It is a desperate mutual attempt to administer a brief social analgesic, a momentary distraction from the perpetual torment of a life wasted in the service of a machine designed to destroy all life in a million different and exceedingly painful ways.

And lest you think I am merely waxing darkly poetic, here is a thought experiment that might help to put things into perspective. Pick a typical day, one that does not stand out in any way from the day that preceded it or the one you expect to follow, pick a typical Tuesday, for example. In your mind, quickly map out a timeline that includes the mundane details of your schedule, what it is that you actually do, your moment-to-moment activity from the time you wake up until you fall back into bed. Now, go back through the timeline you have just mapped out and identify those moments in which you are actually in control of what you do. Are there any? Is there a single place, anywhere, a tiny slice of time when you have something that even remotely approaches free choice, where you can, with all honestly, say that you would choose to do exactly this if you could choose among all possible things to do? If so, where is that place on your timeline? It is not on your morning commute. It is not at your desk or worksite or delivery route. It is not during your restricted lunchbreak or your commute home. It is not when you collapse into the couch with a drink and the remote control.

And I know that it may be tempting to run this thought experiment and pretend that it is all good, that you like your job—and that you are thankful to have a job! But this is simple rationalization driven by cognitive dissonance, identical in form to the rationalization of a slave who has given up dreaming of freedom.

False orthodoxies of civilization

The civilized status quo is vindicated and perpetuated in part through a set of false beliefs. I am calling these beliefs orthodoxies because their status as grounding principles renders them immune to normal methods of criticism. Many of these beliefs correspond to what French sociologist Pierre Bourdeau called doxa: the undergirding, unexamined, unspoken, taken-for-granted truths of society. Some of these fall beyond mere orthodoxy and into the realm of the sacrosanct. To challenge these “truths” of civilization is to challenge core notions about what it means to be a human being.

I have listed several of these false orthodoxies below, briefly annotated with summary indications of their speciousness. Note that the ones that I have chosen apply specifically to “Western” civilization; however, the rate and scope of globalization in recent years has made the distinction increasingly irrelevant.

 

False beliefs about the nature of human nature:

  1. There is a sharp separation between the human world and the natural world

This is an archaic and logically unsupportable belief associated with dominant monotheistic religious traditions.

  1. Humans are a superior species

This false belief emerges from lifestyles based on domestication, and receives doctrinal validation through monotheistic religious tradition. 

  1. Nature is something to be subdued and dominated, and humans have a right/responsibility to exercise dominion over the natural world.

This variation on “might makes right” also derives from lifestyles based on domestication and receives validation through monotheistic religious tradition, and more recently through the demonstrated successes of modern science.

  1. Humans are naturally competitive and acquisitive

Material acquisitiveness and competition are responses to artificial restriction of, and unequal access to, resources.

  1. Humans are violent by nature

Humans in their natural state (small subsistence foraging groups in direct contact with the natural environment) are remarkably peaceful, and typically employ sophisticated and highly effective methods for settling disputes long before they reach the point of violent confrontation.

  1. Social stratification is natural for humans

Humans in their natural state are largely egalitarian. The kind of steep social stratification seen with civilization emerged historically from the division of labor necessary for large-scale agriculture, has spread through millennia of military conquest, and is maintained in the present day through institutionalized violence.

 

False beliefs about the nature of civilization:

  1. Civilization is an inevitable product of human evolution

Humans alive today are biologically the same as those living 50,000 years ago (and only trivially different than those living 250,000 years ago), but civilization is less than a few thousand years old. Civilization is a historically-traceable cultural innovation, not a biological adaptation.

  1. Life outside of civilization is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short

Each adjective in this Hobbesian claim is easily refuted by ethnographic and archaeological data, and by simple logic. 

  1. We need civilization

A simple tautology: people who live civilized lifestyles need the various things that living a civilized lifestyle require.

  1. Civilization is the best way for humans to live

This is simple chauvinism.

  1. Civilization is designed to satisfy human needs

Civilization organizes human behavior in ways designed to serve the needs of the civilized order itself.

  1. Civilization actually satisfies human needs

Individual human needs almost always take a back seat to the needs of the civilized order. Several authentic human needs are at present either only partially satisfied or neglected entirely.

 

False beliefs about progress:

  1. The future existence of the human species is important

This false belief is tied to the need to assign a larger meaning and purpose for our individual lives, and serves as a means of coping with our individual mortality.

  1. Progress is desirable and inevitable

The idea of progress is a delusion supported by hindsight evaluations of specific technological and cultural innovations. Progress implies a direction and a goal, both of which turn up missing in any attempt at a more objective analysis of history.

  1. Progress is the solution to our present problems

All solutions to present problems create unanticipated problems of their own.

  1. Technological innovation is desirable and inevitable

This is largely a corollary to false belief 14.

  1. Technological innovation is the solution to our present problems

This is largely a corollary to false belief 15. When it comes to solving problems, technological innovation is a zero-sum game: solving a proximal (for one group of people, now) problem always creates distal (for other people or at a future time) problems.

  1. Science serves human interests

Science serves the interests of people living lifestyles supported by science. Science presently operates according to the cluster of interests established by global consumer-industrial society. Several of the results of science are blatantly opposed to authentic human interests (e.g., biological and thermonuclear weapons, corporate marketing).   

 

False beliefs about the end of the world:

  1. The end of civilization means the end of the world

From a civilized perspective, only the human-built world is truly important and worthy of consideration.

  1. The end of civilization means chaos

This traces directly back to false belief 8, that life is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short outside of the structure provided by civilization. This also assumes false beliefs 4, 5 and 6.

  1. It’s too late to change now: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube

Both the belief in progress and the belief in the inevitability of civilization are behind this orthodoxy. This is perhaps the most disturbing false belief of all because of the ease with which belief in our own helplessness and impotence becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

This morning’s sunrise

A foggy haze, a pall, hangs pinkly across the brambles by the highway. An old man—or perhaps he is just carrying himself that way, hunched over with slow careful movements, and perhaps he is not a man at all, but he looks to be old from this distance, so maybe it is merely my faltering eyesight, maybe it is the work of the morning haze, although the haze appears to be limited to the skyward direction, apparent only in the leading edge of the sun that has yet to crest the hillside beyond the brambles, beyond the highway—swings open the large metal gates, gates painted in the off-orange color of the Golden Gate Bridge, and locks them against their posts on the outside of the private gravel road that connects the street with the parking lot shared by the cannabis shop and the small coffee shack along the highway.

I am surprised by this, by the old man—if he is really a man, and if he really is old. His car is still running, pulled partially into the road—really a large driveway—and I can see the foggy effluence from the exhaust. It is an old man’s car, a large white vehicle, perhaps ten years old, that looks like it might have been a luxury model, or what passes for that these days. The fact that he is old surprises me. The cannabis shop and the coffee shack are the only businesses served by this road, and, space wise, the cannabis shop dominates. It is a narrow modular—essentially a trailer—with a large older motor home behind it, presumably so that the owners or someone in their employ can spend the night on the property to lessen the temptation for theft that a cannabis shop represents. The coffee shack is little more than a prefab wooden shed, like one you might see in a back yard filled with a riding lawn mower and miscellaneous yard tools. It is painted a happy blue with white trim. Last year it had a different name as was painted hot pink, although the menu on the front hasn’t changed. I am surprised he is old because cannabis is a young-person’s business, in my mind at least, and he appears to be a respectable older gentleman. But, again, my failing eyesight and the distance render my judgement suspect. And the world is not at all the same place as it was when my stereotypes about age and cannabis were first formed.

The only other visible living things, besides me, the dog, and the old man, and a crow on the road behind the old man and his car, are the spiders in large webs displayed like dream catchers, draped in silver and rendered opaque this morning by the dew, each with their sole occupant positioned in the exact center like the frayed bullseye of a cracked dart board. There are four of them as I exit the breezeway connecting the apartment building to the adjacent covered parking area. They are suspended between the building and a large cluster of ornamental shrubs. Each is arranged vertically, but angled differently, as if reflecting four facets of a gemstone. They shimmer like gems in the pink-tinged pre-sunshine, but are otherwise perfectly motionless. Together they form a column-shaped gauntlet with no clearly discernible entrance and death as the only possible exit.

Coyote on the trail

[This is the opening section of a larger piece about a subset of the homeless population who, like the coyote, have learned to live with without living entirely in civilization]

The dog and I were on a short hiking trail about twenty miles north of downtown Seattle that tracks through a patch of heavily wooded land left in its wild natural state because the terrain is too steep to easily accommodate houses or condominiums. Actually, the land has been left in a quasi-wild and semi-natural state; remnants of the forest that use to be here are still visible in the rotting remains of massive stumps, ten or twelve feet across and engraved with telltale wedge-shaped notches hacked eighty or ninety years ago to accommodate lumberjacks’ springboards. These stumps, aptly named “nurse trees,” serve as a nourishing base of support for younger versions of themselves that sprouted on top in the decaying heartwood, or inside the hollow pith chamber, and the thick exposed roots of these now towering offspring hang over and down the ancient stumps like the tentacles of gargantuan alien parasites. The land, christened with the uninspired name “Southwest County Park,” straddles a well-used road connecting two adjacent towns. The bulk of the park is on the south side of the road, behind a narrow unpaved parking area and an informational sign that includes a map of the adjacent spiderweb of short looping trails that curl through stands of alder, Sitka spruce, and red cedar. But it’s the unmapped trail through the strip of park that runs along the north side of the road that the dog and I frequent on sunny mornings like this one.

The north trail is well groomed, and carpeted with fresh gravel in places where small springs cross on their way down to a larger stream at the base of a deep ravine. There are several spur trails intersecting with the main pathway. Most meander up to the edge of the ravine and then eventually straggle their way back to the main trail, but a couple of them dive directly to the ravine floor, to the clear, shallow stream pooling in low spots along its route to Puget sound, which waits patiently a mile or so off to the west. On this day, the dog and I slide and stumble our way down one of these spurs to the stream and spend a few minutes absorbing the cleansing sound of a mossy tree-fall waterfall before climbing the steep and dusty slope back up to the main trail. I sometimes start our walk this way to “pre-exhaust” myself because the trail is otherwise fairly flat, and the down and back from the primitive roadside parking area is barely two miles.

Shortly after resuming the main trail, still feeling the effects of the climb, we round a bend and an extremely large coyote suddenly steps out onto the path directly in front of us. He is coming from the south side, from the road side. He is barely fifteen feet away. When he sees us, he stops with his body in profile straddling the entire width of the trail and his head turned squarely at us. At first, I think it’s a wolf. It looks like a wolf—its markings are indistinguishable from those of a wolf. And it is big for a coyote. The dog and I have both stopped, completely motionless. This is highly unusual behavior for the dog. She normally tugs excitedly whenever we encounter another dog on the trail—which is quite frequently. Just a few moments ago we met a woman hiking with her yellow lab, who was off leash, and I had to pull hard to keep the dog from lunging their direction as we crossed paths. But she is perfectly still, and there is no pressure on the lead. She is a statue frozen in midstride, a still-bent front paw held steady off the ground in suspended animation. I am too, clamped in the moment in mid step, although both of my feet are firmly planted, maybe extra-firmly, like the feet of a sprinter against the starting block.

And the coyote as well. He stood there—I’m pretty sure it was a “he”—spanning the trail and glaring at us for perhaps six or seven seconds. It was enough time for me to give his form a good look over. His coat was healthy, and he appeared very well fed. Despite his size, I knew he had to be a coyote. A few months back I ran into a fellow hiker who told how his dogs had rousted a small family of coyotes down by the stream, so I have been halfway expecting to see one eventually. But I wasn’t expecting to see something this big. Too big? He was larger than any German Shepard, taller and longer, but perhaps only half as heavy. I quickly probed my memory for what I know about the differences between coyotes and wolves. I learned from a guide at a wolf sanctuary in Indiana several years ago that you can quickly distinguish a coyote from a wolf by looking at the ears. A wolf’s ears are triangular and rounded, similar to a husky’s, whereas a coyote’s ears are sharper, more pointed. The animal remained just long enough for me to make the ear assessment and confirm his pedigree. Then he gave with a muted sound that was halfway between a growl and a bark, but breathier than either, broke eye contact, and floated weightlessly into the underbrush on the other side of the trail, where he immediately dematerialized, evaporating into nothingness as suddenly as he had appeared. The dog and I stood still for perhaps another ten seconds, both of us listening. But there was no sound. We went to the spot where he entered the underbrush, but it appeared to be a solid wall of ferns and brambles. There was no crackle of twigs in the distance, no rustle of bushes, no crunching of leaves. No residual movement, no trace.

Holiday Violence

Happy Labor Day!

I glanced at a news headline today that said something to the effect that we celebrate Labor Day despite the fact that the thing it celebrates began with loads of violence. Curious, that. I took a look at the list of official US government holidays and discovered that all of them are, in one way or another, celebrations of violence. Here is my (unofficial and nonscientific) rankings of government holidays in terms of the violence they directly or indirectly represent, briefly annotated on the outside chance that the violence they reflect isn’t immediately obvious:

  1. Columbus Day (genocide of an entire continent—and Columbus himself was pretty much personally responsible for wiping out the indigenous population of Hispaniola).
  2. Independence Day (war, duh!)
  3. Memorial Day (war, duh!)
  4. Veteran’s Day (war, duh!)
  5. Thanksgiving (the mythological day it celebrates was originally proclaimed in honor of the safe return of a group of armed thugs that had just massacred 700 Pequot men, women, and children—really, you should read a book—and there’s probably a bit about smallpox in there too).
  6. Labor Day (the fight against inhuman labor conditions, worker strikes that turned deadly, corporate assassins, etc.)
  7. MLK Day (a famous guy who took a bullet—just one of many—and hundreds of others who took the toothy end of a police dog or the business end of a government firehose)
  8. President’s Day (two presidents: one was a celebrated war general, the other presided over the civil war and died by a bullet to the head)
  9. New Year’s Day (watch out for drunk drivers and rednecks’ bullets returning to earth)
  10. Christmas (Black Friday mobs—at least 10 confirmed dead and hundreds wounded since 2006)

Considering that the US was built on a foundation of slavery and genocidal colonial conquest, and that it continues to exist only through the constant application of violence and the threat of violence, it is not surprising, perhaps, to find such a close affiliation between violence and our official government holidays.

Too many vegetarians (or why plastic straws don’t matter)

I became a vegetarian in my mid-twenties, shortly after deciding to become a Zen Buddhist. It was the 1980s, the dawn of the “New Age,” and spiritual cultural appropriation was all the rage. But Buddhism was different. The spiritual part was optional. It was not a religion in the sense that I had previously understood the term; and the Zen variety was decidedly atheistic, a kind of applied philosophy that, as with most other Buddhist schools, highlighted an equality of worth among all sentient creatures. The last meat I ate after deciding to go vegetarian was a hot dog, actually three hot dogs, three greasy overcooked tubes of random animal flesh from the snack bar at a powerlifting contest. And, interesting side note, exactly a year later I competed in that same powerlifting contest as a vegetarian—something that my steak-and-chicken-breast-fed lifting buddies said would be impossible—and went home with a third-place trophy and a personal best deadlift.

Vegetarianism in the 1980s was nowhere near as popular as it is now, especially not among the working-class crowd I hung out with, and when people found out that I didn’t eat meat, their first response was usually a stunned “why the hell not?” I eventually amassed several stock replies to that question that I would vary depending on the circumstance. Sometimes I would simply say “because I’m Buddhist,” but that was rare, and almost guaranteed to lead to a further barrage of questions about Buddhism that required more time and energy to answer than I typically had patience for (I never did get very good at the whole Zen thing). Usually I gave some variation on the “animals are sentient beings too” moral argument against eating meat, a response that frequently led to a knee-jerk dismissive reaction, usually a flat denial that an animal’s status as a conscious, pain-experiencing being was at all relevant—followed by a “besides, bacon tastes good!” or the quasi-tongue-in-cheek “but plants are living creatures too!” Occasionally I would get a more extreme response. For example, I had one person call me a flaming hypocrite because I was wearing a leather belt and leather shoes and driving a car that ran on the combustible remains of once-living beings. I obviously didn’t really care about animals.

At the time, I didn’t understand the power of cognitive dissonance, and how most of the negative reactions I got were aimed at reducing the uncomfortable mental state that a moral argument for vegetarianism might be expected to elicit in meat eaters who considered themselves to be morally-grounded persons, otherwise I would have been far more careful to explain my meatlessness in ways that were less likely to be interpreted as pretentious or confrontational. It’s a joke these days, a running meme, that vegetarians are militant assholes, that they want to shove their vegetarianism down other people’s throats (pun intended) the way an evangelical Christian wants to infect you with their undying love for Jesus. And while there is no shortage of vegetarians who are like that, cognitive dissonance only aggravates the desire to put them in their place.

The potential for dissonance is also exacerbated by the fact that the moral argument from sentience is compelling, and, at least so I thought at the time, airtight. If you eat meat, you are saying that you are more important than the animals you are eating. You are saying that their pain and suffering is subservient to your pleasure. You are claiming that you have some kind of preordained right to kill and consume other experiencing beings. If that’s so, then where does this right come from? Every answer I got to that question was some variation on “might makes right.” “Why do I eat animals? Because I can: humans are at the top of the food chain.” I would also frequently get lectured on how a vegetarian diet was not healthy, a lecture for which I had a good stock of logical rebuttals and all sorts of data to the contrary. Hell, I placed in my weight class as a powerlifter after a year of zero meat consumption; physically, as a lean and muscular twenty-to-early-thirty-something, I looked to be the very opposite of unhealthy.

In the name of full transparency, I should mention that I am no longer vegetarian. And, just for the record, the reason I am no longer vegetarian has nothing to do with no longer calling myself Buddhist (although that happened too), or a change in my beliefs about the sanctity of nonhuman life (if anything, I hold these beliefs with even more conviction, although my thoroughgoing atheism makes me uncomfortable with the word sanctity), or the unjustifiable exercise of human death-dealing power (again, my convictions here are still as strong as they have ever been). The reason I am no longer vegetarian is because those things had nothing to do with why I became vegetarian in the first place. I am no longer vegetarian because I am no longer in my mid-twenties-to-early-thirties. With age I have become more adept at questioning my true motives, and at accepting the answers at face value despite how uncomfortable they might be (although the later capacity is still very much a work in progress). I have become better able to contend with my own cognitive dissonance, better able to live with ambiguity and contradiction in my thoughts and actions. The truth is that I was vegetarian mostly because most other folks weren’t. Vegetarianism was a safe way for me to express my deeply entrenched contrarian nature. It was the same reason that my car in high school was a small, gas-efficient pickup when all the other kids were into muscle cars. Being vegetarian allowed me to be different, to stand out from the crowd, to show that I wasn’t just another mindless sheep, to show that I was sophisticated, someone who lived intentionally. Or at least it allowed me to think these things about myself; it provided plausible support for a delusional narrative—a story woven as camouflage, ultimately to hide a seething mass of insecurities.

Continue reading “Too many vegetarians (or why plastic straws don’t matter)”

Spring Hill

Drumheller’s Spring was the official name, posted in large yellow letters carved into a brown wooden sign near the sidewalk, but everyone I knew called it Spring Hill. Spring Hill was a marshy area atop a sullen outcropping of basalt, still brooding after being abandoned for eleven and a half millennia by the glacier that brought it there. It was bounded on the south and east by a broken line of steep moss- and lichen-encrusted cliffs that plunged at various points from ten to perhaps forty feet before being absorbed into the sloping bush-covered alluvium. A half dozen or so small springs trickled out of the rock face. The largest spring was corralled by a time-worn concrete trough that channeled the water alongside a broad steep footpath to a small collecting pond, where the overflow was siphoned into a grated sewer drain for a two-mile trek south to the river. The path next to the concrete trough was adorned in spots with rusty ruins of an iron-pipe handrail, and littered at irregular intervals with slick angular rocks that served as natural stair steps. A large field lay above the spring and across a dirt road to the northwest. The field was flat, broken in irregular intervals with small grassy mounds and rock outcroppings, and almost treeless. It was home to three small ponds, the two smallest of which were seasonal and disappeared in midsummer. The largest pond supported a wide variety of aquatic and semi-aquatic creatures, including fairy shrimp, turtles, a variety of frogs, and a small species of salamander with an indigo body and an almost iridescent yellow-green stripe down its back.

Spring Hill was surrounded on all sides by residential neighborhoods, and positioned along a major traffic corridor consisting of north and southbound one-way two-lane arterials—both of which were forced to make an abrupt guardrail lined curve to accommodate the cliffs. I made the five-block journey from my home two or three times a week, starting from when I was eight or nine, until we moved to the far north side of town when I was fifteen. It was the running water that first attracted me. My friends and I would have races with pieces of bark starting from where the large spring emerged from the pipe down to the collecting pond. Some days we would build tiny dams or gouge small tributaries into the hard clay of the banks in spots where the concrete had eroded away. The animal life was next on my list of interests. Pond water is teaming with alien creatures. And it was not uncommon for me to have a mason jar of Spring Hill pond water sitting on my bedroom window sill. The salamanders were the big prize, though. One day I collected over twenty in a single hour.

As I got a bit older, the cliffs themselves started to beckon. The tallest rock faces were along the south side toward the western edge of the area. My friends and I spent many afternoons daring each other up the lichen-encrusted basalt. There were a variety of routes, some easy enough for my little sister, and others that had overhangs and bald surfaces that would challenge a veteran rock climber. At the base of the most formidable cliffs, stood a wooden plaque next to a couple of well-weathered stumps of charred lumber that announced the area as the site of The Chief Garry School before it burned down. Garry, whose real name was Slough-Keetcha, was sent by his father the Chief of the Spokane Tribe to a missionary school in Canada when he was fourteen. He came back as a young adult, built and taught at his own school, and fought to maintain his tribe’s rights to live along the Spokane River. He lost his fight and his school.

Both the wooden plaque and the charred remnants of the school are gone now, absorbed into the backyard of one of the many houses that have been built along the Cliffside. Instead, there is a five-foot rectangular granite obelisk with rough-hewn edges next to the road that runs along the field where the smallest of the seasonal ponds used to be. The highlights of Chief Garry’s life story along with some of the physical details of the school are carved into the face of the stone: “The school house, 50’ X 20’, was constructed of pine poles covered in yule mats, sewed together by Indian women.” There is something about the choice to include that last detail, that Indian women did the sewing of the mats, that bothers me, but I’m not sure why.

I am at a loss to describe the personal significance of Spring Hill. To say that it was formative seems to trivialize its impact, and to discount the influence it has on me even now. Medical researchers have found that childhood exposure to outdoor environments protects against later development of allergies and asthma. Other studies have shown that childhood exposure to the natural world is linked with environmental concern as an adult. I suspect that these two sets of findings are not unrelated, and that early exposure to natural spaces enhances both physical and psychological immunity. I suspect also that the connection between early nature exposure and later environmental concern is not simply due to the workings of nostalgia. One of the most general features of human psychology as it relates to our understanding of the world around us is something cognitive psychologists refer to as WYSIATI: what you see is all there is. Despite the unwieldy acronym, the idea is rather straightforward. We can only work with what we have experience with. If we stumble upon something new, and there is nothing in our past to hang it on, if it falls outside of our experience or our current understanding of the world, it may as well not exist. As civilization continues to expand its global expression, wild nature will fall increasing outside of everyone’s experience, and no one will ever know what it is, exactly, that is missing, but they will feel its absence nonetheless.

Today Spring Hill is an urban anomaly, a tiny time-forgotten microcosm of wild nature surrounded by busy streets and residential neighborhoods. For the women who sewed the yule mats for Chief Garry School, however, Spring Hill was nothing special, nothing unusual, probably even mundane. Then the entire valley that now contains the city of Spokane—which has long since sprawled up and out of the valley, and is rapidly spreading in all directions like a malignant skin cancer—was Spring Hill. The entire world before civilization was Spring Hill.

And, although neither you nor I will be around to see it, we can take some solace in knowing that, with time, the entire world after civilization will eventually become Spring Hill once again.

Guardians of Quietude

There is a dual nature to the mornings here, an impossible combination of stillness and frenetic activity; interdigitation more than combination, perhaps. It’s just after six a.m. on a Wednesday. I have forced myself out of bed so that I can spend some time writing before I make the brief but crowded commute to my office: four miles, eight poorly synchronized stoplights, and five stop signs, all while in constant near-collision stop-and-go proximity with a hoard of zombified fellow wage-slaves, most with their head angled downward toward a screen held just out of sight beneath the lower reach of the steering wheel. As a pot of coffee slowly fills on the kitchen counter, I slip the harness on the dog to take her out for her morning constitutional before I settle down in front of the computer—she has had a touchy stomach lately, and I don’t want to risk another mess on the living room carpet.

The sprawling apartment complex houses several hundred people, but at this hour there is very little activity, with the exception of an occasional car making its way up and out of the narrow, winding, speedbump-studded parking lot, its sole occupant off to join the zombified, cellphone-poking hoards to offer their diurnal blood-sacrifice to the machine. A high school girl passes by on her way to the bus stop, eyes glued to the screen in her hand, stooped over from the weight of her backpack and the steep uphill grade of the roadway; she walks past us as if the dog and I were two ornamental shrubs planted along the curb. An elderly man, perhaps only a few years older than me, emerges from a breezeway with his two dogs, both spaniels of some type, on retractable leashes. The dog and I avoid the spaniels, which have immediately started barking at us, and head toward the small off-leash area that was recently added to the complex by wrapping a seven-foot unstained cedar fence around a shady corner of grass near the back entrance.

It is on our way back from the dog area that the dual nature of the place, its alchemical blending of quiet and noise, starts to work on me. The man who was previously walking the two barking dogs now leans against his second story balcony rail, smoking a cigarette and staring blankly off into the distance in the direction of the highway as if he was a passenger on a cruise ship gazing out to sea while waiting for the onboard casino to open. Although it dominates the sonic space, the highway is not visible from here. The apartment complex is built into a hillside, one of a thousand infinitesimal bumps on the tips of the bent bony fingers of the Cascades as they curl down into Puget Sound, just over a mile in the opposite direction, and the land slopes steeply, hiding the highway behind a large natural berm dressed in blackberry brambles. The traffic noise still has an hour or so before it reaches its morning crescendo, although it has increased orders of magnitude from what only an hour ago was a lone eighteen-wheeler, a car with an exhaust system altered to be extra loud in order to mask its owner’s insecurities, and maybe one or two emergency vehicle sirens. I want to use the word drone to describe the traffic noise, but only because that has become a standard descriptor of such things—standard to the point of being cliché. It’s not a drone, though. The resonant mechanical growl of engines is not the dominant feature. Rather it’s an admixture of passing tires playing their perpetual circular game of catch and release with the oil-seasoned asphalt, and the air being pushed aside violently as the cars force their way through, more like the violent wind of an impending Midwestern storm against a row of tall poplar trees at the edge of a flat cornfield, steady and yet pushing past begrudging limbs in irregular gusts, or maybe the pulsing torrent of spring snowmelt over the boulder-littered course of a shallow mountain river. The mechanical engine noise is an afterthought, a throbbing background doppler-effect whine set against an acoustic surface built from motion itself. It is this sound of the traffic that dominates. And it will do so for the rest of the day, waxing and waning according to the circadian rhythms of commerce and industry, exploitation and destruction, the flowing and ebbing tide of a kind of desperation unique to the civilized, a desperation born of false hope, a frantic but ultimately futile effort to brace against the crushing weight of helplessness that defines a life of obligatory consumption.

But there is another sound, another layer to the acoustic space that runs a parallel cycle, starting early in the morning, well before dawn, reaching its peak rapidly with the emerging morning light, and then striking a slowly trailing sustain that reverberates until the last few traces of twilight fade into a moon-shadow and streetlamp-speckled quasi-darkness. It’s the birds. This time of year, late May, the bird chatter is at its most frantic. And it is hard to decide which truly dominates this morning’s acoustic space, the highway or the birds. The birds are more proximal and more omnidirectional, and there are calls from individual birds—the crows especially—that are loud enough to momentarily nullify the highway, eclipse it, supersede it. But there are gaps in the birdsong, short, punctate, and irregular intervals of local silence, spaces in between the avian pointillist soundscape where the pulsating but gapless highway noise resolves back into focus, returning instantly because it never really left, it was only momentarily overwritten.

The traffic noise and the bird chatter, however, do not compete. They seem to occupy distinctly different rooms, inhabit entirely separate strata in the overall sonic structure of the morning. Although they exist contemporaneously, simultaneously shaking my eardrums, they don’t belong together. A Fourier analysis would be able to parse out the separate contribution each makes to the complex timbre of the waveforms that move my basilar membranes, but there is something more than that. They are occupants of incommensurate perceptual realms, and my mind never confuses the two. A sonogram of a spoken sentence appears as an unbroken series of spikes and troughs on the page, and yet we hear distinctly separate words—and the words themselves are built of phonemes that register as unique and unmistakable despite the fact that they blur into each other seamlessly. It is something like this that individuates the cars from the birds.

I suspect that part of this is due to my evolutionary preparation for life embedded in a soundscape dominated by other beings rather than machines. The birdsong, for instance, is communicative, it is sound with purpose. And its purposes can be recognized as such—if not entirely understood—by a primate such as myself. I know not what the bird sounds are expressing, but I know that they express. The traffic sounds are epiphenomenal. They are not expressive. They have no purpose, there is no intention behind them, they do not make reference to something else. They are mere side effects. The traffic noise does not communicate anything. Or if it does, it is only to serve as an unconscious reminder of where I am—and where I am not.

But despite the birdcall and the highway and the large, low-flying airplane that is just now directly overhead, there is quiet here. Other than the man coughing heavily between drags on his morning cigarette while staring in the direction of the highway—really probably staring toward the light of the sun that has only now started to filter though the brambles on the hill—and me pulling my dog off of a juicy tidbit of garbage, a chicken bone scoured clean, voided of its marrow, and left in our path by a careless crow, it is quiet here. And quiet is the right word, although it makes no logical sense. That’s the impossible duality: the penetrating quiet that fills the morning in spite of the overcrowded acoustic space.

For a brief moment I wonder if maybe it is the relative lack of movement. Maybe I have mistaken stillness for quiet. Maybe I have conflated the visual with the sonic. Other than me and the dog and the occasional car leaving the parking lot and the man with his barking spaniels and the high school girl, there has been very little that has moved. I look to the trees and see that they are also still, there is almost no wind at all and even the broad, triangular leaves of the large cottonwood that overhangs the corner of the dog area barely flex in what little breeze happens to find them. But that’s not it. There is movement here. And stillness as well. And yet the quiet is pervasive. Despite the constant noise, there is a peacefulness—not silence, not absence, but a positive calmness, a quietude. On the surface it doesn’t seem to make any sense. It’s as if alongside the furious avian chatter and enwrapping the hectic whirring and grinding of the highway, there is an additional something, a nullifying presence, a continual injection of calm into the storm. I have been in carefully-engineered music halls, where distance becomes distorted to the point of near elimination, where an on-stage whisper can be heard from the farthest balcony seat as if it was spoken directly to your ears without intervening space, echoless, without any lingering trace. The sound here has something of the same quality, and it takes only a few moments to track its source.

Trees.

Like singing in the shower, where the splashing streams of water neutralize the errant notes and stray overtones, the trees are buffing off the rough edges and absorbing the dissonant tones before they can propagate, cushioning the pulse of the city traffic and dampening the shrill death howl of the passenger jet, buffering the perpetual mechanical scream of civilization while, at the same time, somehow foregrounding the birdcall, accentuating the pauses, the brief boundaries of silence between individual notes. There are trees here, everywhere, and it is their doing. They are the keepers of the morning quiet, the guardians of quietude.

Retsina

The dog rests her head on my lap and leans her bony jaw into a tender layer of muscle in the central portion of my upper thigh, sending a brief twinge the full length of my leg. I set my glass of retsina on the porch rail beside me, flinching sharply as a bolt of sunlight ricochets an angled course through the golden liquid, an echo of the nerve twinge in my leg. Retsina is a Greek wine with a distinctive—some would say overwhelming—flavor of pine, a flavor that betrays an ancient nostalgia for a time when wine was stored in amphorae sealed with resin from Aleppo pines. It’s what might be called an acquired taste, although I was hooked by the very first glass.

It is exceedingly unlikely that there are any Aleppo pines nearby; they are indigenous to the Mediterranean, and poorly suited for an ornamental backyard landscape, especially here in the Pacific Northwest, with its embarrassment of riches of native evergreen species. The closest tree to where I sit now is just past the far end of the porch rail that supports my glass, a tortured and hideously asymmetric blue spruce, completely denuded of branches on one side, with its shaved trunk less than three feet directly outside the window of the spare room in our second-floor apartment. In the last few years it was able to grow past the third-story roofline, and it has resumed its conical habit—an iconic Christmas-tree shape—for the top few feet. Scar tissue encrusted with bulbous globs of glassy pitch, frozen in mid drip, mark spots where immature limbs were carelessly pruned too close to the main trunk; and for a moment I imagine the rarified aromatic qualities of a wine poured from amphorae sealed with blue spruce resin.

Retsina is somewhat hard to find, not something that you would typically run into in the wine isle of the local big-chain supermarket. I first learned of it from song lyrics more than two decades before I had the opportunity to taste it. It makes a brief appearance in Aja, a popular Steely Dan album released when I was in high school. The second track on side two of the original vinyl version of Aja is titled “Home at Last,” and evokes imagery from the Homeric tale of Odysseus’ epic journey home:

Who wrote that tired sea song

Set on this peaceful shore

You think you’ve heard this one before

Steely Dan songs frequently include subtle and cerebral irony, which is why I have always been a fan. In the chorus of “Home at Last,” for example, the protagonist sings:

The danger on the rocks has surely passed

Yet I remain tied to the mast

Could it be that I have found my home at last?

Home at last

The idea here—or, probably better to say my interpretation of the idea here—is that we sometimes end up in uncomfortable circumstances that we have created ourselves, perhaps out of desperation, and then get stuck there, feeling trapped, caught in the inertia of the status quo, unable to extract ourselves from our own protective emotional resin. Even when we have run out of excuses, and even in the clear presence of far better alternatives, we remain “tied to the mast.” It’s a compelling truth that is paradigmatic of several extended periods of my own life. In the second verse of “Home at Last,” there is an allusion to the year Odysseus spent with Circe, the goddess-enchantress who turned his men into swine and then lured him into her bed chamber with food and wine; but most likely it’s an oblique reference to one of the song writer’s own failed love relationships:

She pours the smooth retsina

She keeps me safe and warm

It’s just the calm before the storm

Call in my reservation

So long hey thanks my friend

I guess I’ll try my luck again

Smooth retsina. When I stumbled upon retsina in a wine shop just south of Gary, Indiana, an area, it turns out, with a sizeable local Greek population, I bought a bottle of each of the three varieties on the shelf. The first sip was a shock. Although it has a warm and exceptionally satisfying finish, smooth is not an adjective I would use. In fact, perhaps the opposite of smooth; astringent, bracing, sharp like the sliver of refracted sunlight that sliced through the glass and into my unshielded retinas. The effect is habit-forming.

Aja remains one of my favorite albums to this day. Aja is also the name of the dog whose head rests heavily against my thigh. The dog wasn’t named after the album, nor is her name pronounced the same—the album is pronounced like the continent, for the dog the initial A is pushed with a relaxed tongue and open throat, as in awesome. Aja, the dog, was named after a Yoruba goddess, the goddess of the forest and protector of forest animals. It was my wife’s idea, and likely related to our regular excursions to the many nearby heavily forested hiking trails—so different from the agriculture-dominated wetland prairie and oak savanna of Northwest Indiana, where I was tied to the mast for over a third of my life.

It turns out there are some interesting parallels between Circe, the Greek goddess-enchantress, and pourer of smooth retsina, and Aja, the Yoruba forest protector. Circe lives in a mansion surrounded by a dense forest, and she has extensive knowledge of herbs and potions, which, in combination with a magic staff, she used to turn Odysseus’ men into animals, and would have done so with Odysseus himself if he wasn’t forewarned. Aja is also a master of potions, it turns out, and she is credited with having taught the original herbal healers their craft. In my limited research, I haven’t come across any tales of her turning men into swine, but I suspect, from what I’ve read, that she has the power to do so should the situation warrant: she is an Oresha, a subordinate spirit-being manifesting specific facets or characteristics of the divine.

Aja, the canid with her head pressed into my lap, is not a goddess. Nor does she possess any special skill with magical herbal potions, at least as far as I can tell. She is a medium sized dog, lean and muscular, with short fur that, depending on the light, ranges from deep mahogany to rich honey, with a warm quality not unlike the retsina in my glass, returned now to my hand momentarily for a long, deep draught. She’s a Black Mouth Curr, perhaps, although her actual pedigree is a mystery; she’s a rescue dog from the shelter just up the road, and an import from Texas, a place about as far from the island of Aeaea as it is possible to get, and only slightly farther from Yorubaland. I give the golden rolls of skin and fur on her neck a gentle nuzzle with my fingertips, finish my glass, rest my eyes on the dusty gray-green needled surface of the blue spruce, and wonder at my good fortune as the last residual traces of retsina fade into memory.

I know this super highway

This bright familiar sun

I guess that I’m the lucky one